She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
