found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
