oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
