yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
