god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
