Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
