Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
