why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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