To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
