So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just tell him i said nine months
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
