i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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