I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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