Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize