I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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