I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
