was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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