"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
