No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
