Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
