Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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