she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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