she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
