you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
