whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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