There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize