O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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