His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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