What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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