I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize