I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
