i just identified you from a description of your pipe
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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