Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
