what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
