yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She bit a glass in half.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
