Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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