I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
