i jhust puked up my retainher.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
