It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
