kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
