Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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