You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
