Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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