Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
