So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
