grandma shit on top of the toilet
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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