Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
