Buhtt sex?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
