shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
