I cockslap morals
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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