do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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