So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
