By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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