Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize