And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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