So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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