I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
