i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
