You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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