So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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