im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
